Beneath the Surface
by TheCrazyAuthors
Summary: "I've been wishing for so long. It wasn't what I was expecting, but I know one thing-I never want to go back." When you find yourself having swapped places with one of Alexandria Castle's handmaidens, what exactly are you to do? Throw off your seatbelt and enjoy the ride, according to Valentine Brookes.
1. A Prologue of Epic Proportions

There were eight of them.

Eight handmaidens, each one as dutifully bound to the queen as any of the Pluto Knights or Squad Beatrix, and seven of them were all chattering fools, Theresa decided. Seven bright-eyed, noisy, well-mannered beauties that tended to Princess Garnet and Her Rather Ugly Majesty (as she was called when not around to overhear) Queen Brahne.

Oh, Theresa fancied herself as a fairly decent handmaiden. Born and raised in Alexandria, she was, and in her opinion she had a good head on her shoulders. She didn't fancy much in her appearance-she was rather plain compared to the other girls. Dark brown hair, dull brown eyes, and skin pale as if she never went out in the sunlight. She did, of course, but didn't really enjoy the outdoors. Hiding in the library and eavesdropping on royal affairs to keep up with the kingdom was more to her taste than strolling through the gardens and having to dig up the information from seven lackwits.

And oh, did those lackwits despise her.

It was still the early hours of the morning-the sun was just barely peeking out from over the horizon when Theresa silently removed herself from the Handmaiden's Hall, not in the mood to wake anyone else while going to dress herself. There was a reason for the multitude of dressing rooms throughout the castle. Perhaps there was some practicality to it, she thought-many speculated that they were all for Queen Brahne to admire herself, but even the Queen's large frame, thankfully, couldn't be in ten rooms at once.

Which suited those with enough common sense to steer clear of the rest of the castle just fine.

Bare feet padded down the empty hallways. She was also thankful that the Pluto Knights wouldn't be up for another hour-especially Weimar. Wandering around the castle in her nightgown would be a horrible idea if _that _fool was awake, but thankfully there were two elements that worked to her advantage-he was busy chasing after half of Squad Beatrix, for one, and as stated earlier, the Pluto Knights weren't up and about until the sun was a ways up.

She didn't despite the Knights as a whole.

Just most of them.

Theresa slipped into an empty room and laid down the folded dress-it was less of a dress and more of a uniform, she conceded glumly, as all eight handmaidens wore sleeveless dresses that only went down to the knees on a daily basis, just in different colors-on a chair. Even her shade of the uniform was plain-a dull green that roughly resembled a sick person.

After a few moments clothing herself and then fussing in the mirror over pinching her cheeks and pulling up her hair, Theresa gave up. She looked like she usually did-an average young woman of fourteen years who was lucky to have the position she did. Lowest handmaiden or not, she was lucky to be in Alexandria Castle. And if nothing else, she enjoyed some perks of the job. Princess Garnet looked to her for advice in some matters, she could curl up in the library and sometimes have a discussion with Laudo, her favorite of the Knights, and really she just mostly hid from the other handmaidens and aided the princess when required.

She wasn't perfect.

But then, no one was.

A few rays of sunlight began piercing the dimly lit room, spraying the tiles and walls with gold. It was an important day-oh, yes. Garnet's birthday, and that night would be a special performance.

But to the handmaiden, it was just another day to plaster a fake smile on her face and pray that there would be a tomorrow.

She had no idea.

**0-0-0**

Valentine Elizalilac Brookes, more commonly referred to as Tina, was not very fond of physical education.

But she _was _a fan of dodgeball, because while she wasn't a fan of very many people in her school, dodgeball was a time that it was allowed to hit people with bright red balls that could leave a bruise if you really tried to hit them that hard.

And dodgeball, in her opinion, was the one thing in this class she was good at.

Technically, Tina wasn't a fan of anything school-involved. She would much rather sit at home, go to sleep after the energy forced into various work she had no choice but drag herself through, and then start playing video games at three in the morning. Then she would fall asleep two hours later, wake up late, run after the bus, and the cycle would repeat itself.

... No wonder she hated school so much.

Tina blew a few strands of hair out of her face and adjusted her glasses, pondering her options as she turned the ball in her hands. Half of the cheerleading team was on her side, and the football team was all on the other side. True, half her targets in that range were bigger boys that enjoyed ramming into other people their size, and they were also very good at throwing balls at people smaller than them.

But they were also bigger targets, which meant she'd already locked in on the quarterback.

_Aim and fire._

A blur of red whizzed through the air and hit her mark. The whistle blew.

_Aaand repeat._

There was a reason why dodgeball was Tina's only good sport.

It was a _very _good stress reliever, too. She could also pretend they were walking tests. That one always worked. Beating up math with dodgeballs was an even better stress reliever, she thought.

And standing there throwing balls at people who despised her as much as she did them-well, Tina could only think that for once, life was pretty good.

**0-0-0**

Now, whatever could these two tales have to do with each other? Completely different times and completely different worlds, right?

We're getting to that.

Back in Alexandria, we continue upon the evening of the day we left.

**0-0-0**

It was _cold _in this dress, Theresa remembered mournfully as she stood at the princess's door. Five of the other seven handmaidens-Lottie, Maria, Sophie, Beth, and Alice-were busy fussing over Her Highness's appearance, and as far as Theresa was concerned they had it fairly well handled. Garnet's eyes wandered in the mirror and met hers for a moment-almost as if she was silently asking for help. Somewhat amused, Theresa shook her head. She wasn't about to get involved.

"-I heard that most of the actors in Tantalus are as repulsive as Her Rather Ugly Majesty," Sophie prattled on. The other girls let out collective gasps.

"I heard two are fairly dashing." Beth pointed out. "And-" Her voice lowered to a hush that Theresa could barely hear, "-one has a _tail_, just _imagine!_"

Garnet rolled her eyes while the handmaidens were distracted.

"Oh, come now, Beth, you're just waiting for an actor to sweep you off your feet and whisk you away to Lindblum." Alice sniffed.

"Well, I'm certainly not going to be whisked off by _Weimar_," Beth pointed out. Even Theresa snickered at this. The lady's man of the Pluto Knights had attempted to take all eight handmaidens out on a date once. The one with her had ended with him asking what Alice's favorite food was, and from that point on she had decided to steer rather clear.

"He's got his eyes on Squad Beatrix right now. Just wait, the man is going to ask the General herself out one of these days and surely we'll be rid of him for a while."

"_Lottie!_"

All five handmaidens burst into a giggling fit. Silently deciding that as soon as all of the ruckus had died down she would give Garnet a birthday present in the form of helping her sneak out of the castle for a while, perhaps to just wander Alexandria's streets and forget the castle for a while, Theresa slipped away down the corridor. If she was lucky, she could sit in the library and read over _I Want to Be Your Canary _for a while so that she would remember the words as the play went on. It removed some of the suspense, but it did give a fulfilling sense of the play coming to life. And after all, that was generally the intent of a performance.

And then she groaned inwardly, because down the hall were the twin devils of the castle themselves. _Honestly, if you can hear the handmaidens coming from a mile away, you can hear these two from ten the way they carry on._

And carrying on they were, for along came Zorn and Thorn, jesters of the royal court, and speaking to each other in their rhythmic fashion. They would surely be comical enough if it didn't annoy the girl so deeply.

(Play Jesters of the Moon - FFIX OST)

"... n, he said!"

"Soon, said he?"

"Tonight, he said!"

"Tonight, said he?"

The jesters usually babbled nonsense. Today, apparently, was no exception as the fools in red and blue skipped merrily down the hallway past Theresa. And then, they turned around, giggling.

"We are no longer the court fools!"

"The court fools we are no longer!"

And off they went once more, but she heard them calling clear as day, both in a coherent sentence for once:

"_And away, away with all of you!_"

"I know you two are idiots," Theresa finally murmured as they rounded a corner, practically dancing away, "but are all court jesters _this _insane?"

She took a moment to ponder this and then turned on her heel. After all, the library would be a very good sanctuary for the day.

It always was.

**0-0-0**

(Play Ensei ~ Mashiro - Mai Hime OST)

_The night previous, she had made a wish. A dangerous wish._

"I want to go to a world where I can belong."

_There had been a shooting star streaking across the sky at that moment. Somewhere in the night, lightning flashed out of nowhere and died away. Invisible hands plucked at the threads of fate._

_Tina hadn't known it, but she had stuffed her Final Fantasy IX case under her pillow a few nights ago to hide it._

_And just like that, the loom that was her fate had been rewoven. Fate was to set her on a new course._

_She dreamed of a star that night. And nothing else. Just the image of the star, and then she woke up without even remembering it._

Three hits.

Tina was most definitely on a roll, and she was loving it.

Which was why she never noticed another ball whizzing at her from behind. It was never clear if that ball was intended for her or someone else, but fate had been set.

The ball hadn't had time to lose velocity, and so it hit the back of her head full force. The impact sent her to the floor, and everything exploded into blackness.

Somewhere in space, a star shone as bright as it ever had.

The game was halfway set.

**0-0-0**

(End song.)

"Oh, blast these heels!" Theresa burst out, stopping to catch her breath at the top of the stairs. She was _late _was what she was- and surely in for the entire play's worth of berating from her peers. "These things will be the death of me!"

She never noticed the air growing cold around her, never noticed the footsteps behind her, and only realized something was terribly wrong when she felt hands shoving her from behind down the spiral staircase.

Everyone was too busy watching the play begin as a ceremonious symphony began outside.

No one suspected that the absent handmaiden had just met an unfair end.

Somewhere in the night sky of Alexandria, a star began to shine, and the game was set.


	2. In Which We Switch POVs

Generally, when you sustain an injury to the head, you would expect to wake up in the hospital, or at least in the school nurse's office. You do _not _under any circumstances expect to wake up sprawled on the floor of a castle wearing a dress and heels.

But bam, there I was. Valentine Elizalilac Brookes, in an extremely awkward situation.

At least there wasn't anyone around, and I apparently wasn't injured. A bit of a headache, but that was it.

Now, I generally know my games, whether I finish them or not. Final Fantasy IX had been in the 'not' category, but I definitely knew some of the areas when I saw them, and _holy crap I was in Alexandria Castle._

I blinked a few times and then realized the slightly duller fact that I was also sprawled out on the ground as if someone had pushed me down the stairs. I scrambled to my feet, taking care to kick off the heels (heels were always annoying and that was _that _ladies and gentlemen) and squinted above me, at the head of the stairs.

There was no one there. Either it had been awhile since 'I' was pushed, or someone had made a quick getaway.

_... Never mind that, how did I GET here?!_

I racked my brains, remembering only getting hit in the back of the head. Was I in a coma, dreaming? It seemed legit enough...

A smile slowly curled up the corners of my lips. If it was a dream, it was one I definitely didn't want to wake up from anytime soon.

_Right. If I'm in Final Fantasy IX, I'd better get ready to sneak up on the adventure. Wouldn't do to stick around here and miss all the fun. I'm guessing it's the play right now, seeing as how no one's around. Either I can get questioned by Zidane and Blank, seeing as how they're probably headed this way soon, or I can find some way out of the castle, into town, and on the rooftops in time to head Vivi and Puck's way..._

So basically, the choice was: did I want to see the main hero and everyone's favorite member of Tantalus, or the adorable Black Mage of the party?

I bolted to find the castle exit.

**0-0-0**

I'll say this-the security against people getting into the castle is pretty tight.

To get out of it? Not so much.

I was starting to question how the dungeons held up when a Pluto Knight stopped me. _Oh, hell, it better not be what's his face. The guy that supposedly knows every woman's name in this town. Something with a W._

"Theresa! What, are you skipping out on the show?"

_Who the hell is Theresa?_

"I felt a bit sick." I covered up, praying it would pass. "I needed some fresh air. Plus it's stuffy up there."

"Oh... Oh, right! Have you seen Princess Garnet? Captain Steiner's got his panties in a twist looking for her. Surely one of her handmaidens knows where she is?"

I shook my head. "Not a clue, sorry." That was a lie-if the guards were looking for her, either she was still changing or, the worse scenario, was running from Zidane.

Which meant I had to hightail it to the rooftops.

"I'm sorry, I need to go." I pushed past him, walking as fast as I could. The Pluto Knight coughed awkwardly.

"Sorry to keep you, but, err, Theresa?"

"What?"

"Why are you wandering around outside the castle without shoes on?"

I paused.

"Heels are very impractical, you know."

"... Ah."

With that, I spun on my heel and started running instead.

Even the city streets seemed empty. I was guessing everyone was at the show, at a bar, or locked up inside. It seemed like a pretty good plan-for them, anyway.

I rounded a corner into the alley, ducked into the chapel-devoid of the Moogle that was supposed to be there, I noticed-and rushed up the ladder.

I'm not afraid of heights, but the planks that connected the rooftops personally terrified me.

At least I wasn't in heels.

I could hear the crowds roaring from a ways away, and prayed that I wasn't too late already.

_Now or nothing._

And then, hitching up my skirt, I dashed across the rooftops, power-walked over Puck's ladder, and snuck up on the show.

I was in luck, because Zidane and Garnet-in-disguise had already arrived a few minutes ago.

On one hand, I was later to the game than I thought. On the other, I was still there before things went awry.

Which, if I was right, meant I could make a mad dash to the ship with Vivi.

I doubled over, hands on my knees as I caught my breath while the two boys turned around.

"What's a _noble _doing watching from the rooftops?" Puck asked irritably, because obviously that was who he was-the rat prince in disguise, good mood from the play slightly tuned down from my arrival.

I thought quickly. "I'm one of the castle handmaidens." The Pluto Knight had said that much. "I didn't want to watch with the others, so I came back here."

Puck gave me a once-over. "... Why aren't you wearing shoes?"

"_You _try running across rooftops in heels, mister."

He seemed a bit taken aback. "Whatever. You're pretty late, you know."

"Oh, I do know." I mutttered, glancing at Vivi. He seemed more nervous than anything, yellow eyes shining from the apparent void under his hat. His mage robes were a bit more beaten-up than I'd thought they'd be, but intact, sure as sure.

Meanwhile, Puck had gone out of his way to look like a grimy street kid-or rat, rather.

"Anyway, lady, if you're here to watch the show, then just watch the show. Don't bother us." Puck crossed his arms across his chest and turned back to check out the stage. It was difficult to hear over the rumbling of the crowd, but apparently Steiner was being forced into marrying 'Cornelia' in the play. It took everything I had not to laugh at the sight-even from a good ways away, you could tell how rusty the knight's armor was.

And there was Zidane.

I didn't fancy myself a fangirl, but he did look dashing in his own sort of way. Plus, his _tail._

Because dammit, a guy with a tail is automatically a badass in my book.

"... and this traitorous crew, I shall put to death!" Baku/King Leo's voice rang out over the crowd. Zidane and Marcus, unfazed, leapt at Benero and Zenero, who promptly ran off the stage.

And all I could think was _Damn, I love this play._

In retrospect, I probably should have been plotting out for later in the adventure, or maybe even worrying about what would happen if I either didn't make it onto the Prima Vista or, worse, got kicked out of the party.

Actually, I wasn't sure which was worse.

Probably the latter.

Meanwhile, up on stage, the play went on.

"Pray, sweet daughter, come home to the castle with me," 'Leo' begged of 'Cornelia'.

"Nay, Father!" She cried out. "I shan't return!"

"Cornelia... trouble me no more. This wedding is for thine own welfare. Be mindful of that."

And suddenly Marcus.

"Not if I can help it!" He practically roared, leaping forward. "Now is my moment of vengeance! For my parents, and for my love, Cornelia..."

He drew his sword-fake, obviously, and thankfully-. "I shall cut thee down!"

As Marcus stepped forward, Garnet shoved herself in front of him and was 'stabbed'.

Meanwhile, Steiner began going into hysterics, but that was always Steiner.

Marcus seemed to realize his mistake. "No... Cornelia!"

"Marcus... forgive me." Garnet crumpled to the ground, breathing heavily. "I still love my father..."

Leo's cry of "Cornelia!" was drowned out by Steiner's obnoxious wails.

"_PRINCESS!_"

I could almost imagine Garnet wincing. Everyone in the crowd pretty much did.

"Pritheee, forgive my selfishness, Father, and spare my sweet Marcus," Garnet finally managed out after Steiner was reduced back into sobbing hysterics.

Marcus then proceeded to have a more manufactured breakdown. "What have I done?! Am I never to hear her loving voice again? Am I cursed never again to feel her soft touch? O, cruel fate! Thou hast robbed me of all I treasure!"

And then he proceeded to 'stab' himself, falling to the ground just as Garnet had.

"Marcus!" Zidane yelled out.

Meanwhile, back with us, I'd snapped out of it. Any second now, the guards would be coming for us, and if they knew me as a handmaiden, they'd definitely question me.

So I would just have to pretend that, like Garnet, I was planning on getting the hell out of this castle. Either she had trusted this Theresa, or our escape plans just happened to intersect with each other.

Either way, it would be a pain in the neck if they tried to get me to explain myself.

"Wow, what a show!" Puck whistled.

"Yeah, so sad..." Vivi's voice trembled a bit

"I'm glad we climbed all the way over here. How 'bout you, huh?" There was the unmistakable sound of clanking armor behind us, and I swore under my breath. "Uh-oh, looks like trouble!"

And with that, the two kids bolted. Haagen and Weimar slid to a stop in front of me.

"Theresa! Shouldn't you be up with the other handmaidens? And what are you doing with those trespassers?!"

I took a moment of manufactured consideration.

"You see, about that..." I whirled around and made a break for it, chasing after Vivi and Puck. If I missed my chance, things would just as surely go downhill as if I joined the party. "Gotta go!"

"Stop, you!"

"Come back, tresspassers!"

I stopped behind Vivi as he tripped. Puck took a minute to consider his options, then bolted. "Fool! I'm outta here!"

I considered shaking a fist at him, but instead pushed Vivi up into a standing position. "Go, go, go!"

"Fury!"

"Come back here!"

Vivi jumped on stage and I scurried behind him. _Safe!_

"Leave me alone!" He snapped at the knights.

They really didn't seem to notice, still yelling in vain for us to stop. The mage jumped over Garnet and then his hands began to spark with energy. "Don't come any _closer_!" He snapped, unleashing a fire spell.

Unfortunately, it just _happened _to hit Garnet's hood.

_Whoopsie._

I thought I'd remembered her yelling something fairly cliche, but instead she just screamed, leapt to her feet, and tossed off the robe. Baku turned to Zidane.

"Zidane, it's time!"

The blonde thief grabbed Garnet's arm. "Princess Garnet! Let's get outta here!"

Garnet was still catching her breath, hair falling into her eyes and still seeming rather miffed, but unhurt. Vivi adjusted his hat, trembling slightly.

"What... what is going on?!" Steiner demanded. One would think he'd be overjoyed that his princess wasn't actually dead.

"Steiner! Don't follow me anymore!" The princess demanded, ignoring the question.

I then decided it would be a good idea to stay out of the way.

"Captain, sir! We await your orders, sir!" Haagen called as he and Weimar climbed onstage. Steiner fumbled with his words for a moment.

"Hmm... well... umm... errr..." He stood there for a moment and then stood up straight, rusty armor clanking as he did so. "Princess! I'm afraid I cannot comply!"

"Stubborn as always, aren't you?" Garnet sighed, and then caught sight of me. Her eyes widened for a moment, and then nodded at me.

"Theresa. Whose side are you on?"

It then became very apparent to me that I needed to play the role of this Theresa, which meant to act the part of a handmaiden.

I'd never been good at drama.

"I am loyal to you, Princess Garnet." I spoke with more confidence than I thought I had. "If this is the path you wish to take, I would follow you to the end of the world."

Maybe that was a bit overboard, but she nodded again. The Pluto Knights seemed at a loss for words, and the crowd was abuzz.

"Come on, then, Princess." Zidane tightened his grip on Garnet's arm. "Let's ditch Sir Rustalot and get outta here!"

Garnet glanced at him. "Err.. would you please let go of me?"

Zidane jerked away, whistling. He then busied himself with going over to Vivi. "Hey, kid... you okay?"

"Y-yeah." Vivi adjusted his hat. "I just tripped, that's all..."

"Princess, I cannot allow you to go!" Steiner rumbled. It was actually comical how stupid the Knights were. "Seize them at once!"

Zidane drew his swords and turned to Vivi and I. "Can you two fight?"

Vivi nodded, and I faltered. "... I'm only a handmaiden. I'm not on Squad Beatrix or anything."

"Then you hide out. Kid, we're going to need your help." He said decidedly. I resisted the urge to grumble and rushed to the edge of the stage, crouching down by the exit.

And then a battle of epic proportion took place. It was so epic that the chronicler, the weaver, the-

["The author." Tina coughed.

"YOU RUIN ALL OF MY FUN," the author complained.]

-that person, could not possibly hope to capture it.

Or maybe she was just lazy.

It was probably the latter.

There were several shouts from the engine room, all confirming that we were good to go and moving. The ship then began to ascend, rocking as it came up, and the crowd began booing and loudly complaining. They also rumbled with confusion, but that was still to be expected. Back on the castle walls, Queen Brahne was throwing a hissy fit.

I took that valuable moment to realize _Holy crap, everyone was right when they said she was ugly._

I'm going to spare you those gory details and skip to the part where the frenzied soldiers scurried about. The cannons were aimed, and harpoons were fired straight at the Prima Vista, which rocked even more violently, shattering windows and causing explosions. Everyone lost their balance, and Zidane kept a close hold on Garnet. I barely made it back on my feet-_bad idea in retrospect_-and then fought off waves of nausea.

And then they brought out the big guns.

"Oh, hell," I muttered as the largest canon was brought out and the bomb was fired.

And even when it came up behind him, Steiner STILL was trying to fight us and take back Garnet.

_He really is stupid._

The Bomb swelled in size as everyone continued yelling at him to _please kindly turn around before you get blown up_, but with no success.

I'm sure we all found it absolutely hilarious that he only turned around as soon as the Bomb exploded. There were more shouts from the control room as we were all blown back from the blast... but it also took out all of the harpoons that had been set on the ship.

Of course, it had also severely damaged the Prima Vista, but hey, we were all _alive._

A blast from the side of the ship alerted us that a large piece had fallen off and exploded below. Garnet stared out back at the castle, clinging to the ship's bow.

"Mother." She whispered, and it was almost lost to the wind.

"Guys?" Zidane raised his voice. Blank rushed past me, skidding to a stop on the stage.

"Yeah, we've got problems." He confirmed.

"You think?" The blonde hero whirled around to face him. "The Prima Vista's trashed! We're never gonna make it that far at this rate!"

"'Bout that." Blank wrung his hands nervously. "So, uh... you know how the Evil Forest is on our course?"

Zidane swore. "We're gonna crash _there?_"

"Hey, man, look around you. We're alive. We'll live a little longer."

"The boss is gonna be _pissed..._" Zidane moaned, his tail drooping.

"You think he isn't already?"

Garnet, meanwhile, was staring back the way we came with hatred in her eyes. "We escaped." She said softly, and I went to kneel down by her.

"Your Highness?"

"But it was at a cost." She glanced down, then looked at me. "Theresa... why did you come? I never told you I planned to escape the castle."

"I had been thinking about leaving myself," I lied. Well, it wasn't really a lie for me, but if Theresa hadn't known... "Our escape plans just seemed to cross over."

The princess smiled weakly at me. "I am glad for your companionship, and your loyalty. This wasn't the way I'd hoped it to be-and Mother! She flew into such a rage!" A tear started to slide down her face, glistening in the moonlight. "Oh, Mother... how many lives were lost when the theatre ship hit those buildings?"

I placed a hand on her shoulder. "Be strong, Princess. I am with you, and as is Steiner-whether we like it or not."

Garnet forced a laugh. "Of all people in the castle, Theresa, I'm glad it was you who chose to follow me. But if we are only flying straight to our deaths..."

Actually, we were going to be skirting around death and waving merrily at it as we coasted alongside it, but I wasn't about to tell her that. "We have nothing to fear." I said softly.

"We have _everything _to fear."

Zidane coughed, having come up behind us. "Not to break up the fun, girls, but we're in for a rough landing. We shouldn't just sit around here."

Garnet paused and we both stood up. "You're right," She nodded. "I am sorry for being a burden."

"It's no problem, Princess." Zidane forced a smile, then glanced at me. "So who's your friend again?"

"Theresa Valentine." Garnet spoke for me. "She is my handmaiden, and I am grateful for her presence and loyalty."

For some reason, my face went red and I butchered an attempt to curtsy. "Thank you for all that you've done."

"We're not out of the woods yet." Zidane muttered. "Anyway, I'm Zidane-Zidane Tribal. Princess, Miss Valentine, you two should see if you can't get somewhere safer."

I glanced out from the airship and realized we were already descending at a rapid rate.

"Bit too late for that," I muttered, dropping the charade momentarily. Zidane groaned and stepped back.

"Hold on, everyone! This is _not _going to be pretty!"


	3. The Awakened Forest

The set was dark.

... Wait, what?

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls-" One of the lights flickered on, as if a spotlight, and shone down on a rather idiotic looking teenager. Probably because she was dressed up in an aquamarine-and-pink waistcoat and _why was she wearing a top hat._ "-welcome one and all, back to the ultimate show!"

She then proceeded to burst into a coughing fit, falling off of the chair she was standing on and made contact with the floor with a loud _thud_.

"That was _not _supposed to happen."

Five minutes later of swearing and blaming anyone and everyone who most certainly wasn't on set, the authoress-for that was who it most assuredly was-dusted off her ridiculous cosplay and stood up.

"_Ahem._" She coughed again, but this time meaningfully. "As I was saying. No, this isn't your scheduled chapter, but rather an exaggerated author's note."

"Yeah, _really _exaggerated." Tina muttered, coming onto the set with a bag of popcorn in tow. "Senom, what are you doing?"

"Trying to pull off an epic intro, now shut up." The authoress hissed, then turned back to the screen and pulled a false smile. "Valentine never said anything and she's getting back off the set. Now. And either choking down all that popcorn or getting rid of it somehow, because you're wasting my screentime and the show's scheduled to start in five minutes."

Tina threw her free hand up as if to say '_whatever, you're my boss anyway_' and walked off.

"_As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted._" Senom stated all in one breath. "Your scheduled chapter will resume in... four minutes. Until then, the set's all mine."

A cardboard tree fell behind her, clattering against the floor. Someone who was most definitely not the protagonist of a similar-but-yet-not OC-insert series came in, grumbling, and dragged it back off.

"... Ignore that. Anyway, here's the deal. _I _am the authoress, as you may have guessed, Senom299. Shadow of Fantasies and Illusion, Seeker of Miracles, whatever floats your boat." The teen clapped her hands together. "And I am hosting this lovely lil' author's note-something that won't happen for a while yet again, I assure you-to say something."

Tina chose that moment to come back, devoid of popcorn. Senom chose to ignore her.

"That something... is _thank you._"

"Heeere we go," Tina muttered in disgust as the authoress promptly got down on her knees, hands clasped together and staring at the screen with practically puppy eyes.

"Thank you, thank you, _thank you _for leaving reviews and being amazing people. Thank you for reviewing this story, thank you for believing in it, thank you for _reading _this crap-do you know how long it takes to slog through the crap that is beginning an OC-insert-thank you for everything." Senom was putting on some very convincing teary eyes.

And then ruined it by pulling out a water bottle from hammerspace, pouring a bit on her fingers, and dabbing at her eyes with it.

"Too much?" She whispered. Tina facepalmed behind her.

"Just a bit." The questionably-protagonist lied.

"There is no such thing as being overdramatic on the leftover ALBN set." Senom snapped quietly and in a _that settles that_ kind of tone. She promptly got back up, swearing, because an alarm was going off. She pulled out a microphone, flipped the switch, and practically started screaming.

"_CODE E-13, EVERYONE GET TO YOUR PLACE ON SET! THAT MEANS SOMEONE NEEDS TO REPLACE THAT TREE IN THE NEXT NEGATIVE TWO MINUTES! I REPEAT, EVERYONE GET IN YOUR THRICE-DAMNED POSITIONS!"  
_

"You'd think she'd go get her megaphone back." Tina sighed.

"Stashed in the Closet of What's Never to be Seen Again. Let's get moving." Senom whirled around to face the screen.

"By the way, you saw nothing."

And then she went bounding off to her director's chair, knocked it over in the process, started howling out more profanities, and that was the end of that.

**0-0-0**

**Your scheduled chapter will now begin. Thank you for your patience and tolerance!**

"RUN FASTER RUN FASTER _RUN FASTER!_"

Well, that's not the best way to start it off. Maybe I should rewind a bit.

As soon as the Prima Vista crash-landed, Garnet, Vivi, and yours truly were thrown off a good ways into the forest.

Maybe we should pick up there.

I don't know if it was the cold air in Evil Forest that finally woke me up, but I didn't know what else it could be. The forest was alive around us, I remembered that much.

Maybe it was that memory that snapped me awake.

That memory that said _Valentine Brookes, it is time to haul ass out of here._

Heart pounding to get out of my chest with a team of sledgehammer-wielding Moogles, I glanced around. Vivi and Garnet weren't far off, still sprawled out on the ground. We'd landed a short distance away from... that one pond.

I just remembered 'that one pond'.

Shut up, all right?

I'm not sure if I felt it or sensed it, but something was off in the air. Like the entire forest was taking a shuddering breath in... and then out.

And yet nothing was moving.

Everything was just still, except for my muffled breathing and Vivi's and Garnet's, even quieter.

And a much deeper breath, shuddering like a cold wind had hit the owner.

I glanced around for the source, and my eyes caught it. The forest master.

"Crap." I hissed, scrambling over to Vivi, who was closer to me than Garnet, and shaking him by the shoulders. "Vivi! Vivi, get up, and I mean _now!_"

Yellow eyes gradually flickered to life and stared up at me. "What's...?"

I stifled a groan and worked on shaking Garnet awake, barely remembering my act as Theresa. "Princess! Princess, _please_, wake up!"

Garnet groggily came to as Vivi stumbled to his feet. "Theresa?"

"Yes, it's me. Get up, _please_. We're in trouble."

And suddenly Plant Brain falling from the trees. I swore under my breath and turned to the other two.

"No time to talk, let's GO!"

And that sort of brings us to the earlier point of dashing through Evil Forest being chased by a Plant Brain and in general not being in a very good situation.

"Run faster, run faster, run FASTER!" I screamed over the wind.

"Trying!" Vivi squeaked out. After a few more moments and climbing up a hill, the three of us stopped, gasping for breath. The Black Mage suddenly slipped and fell, crying out.

"Are you all right?" Garnet knelt down next to him, but Vivi's eyes were trained on the way we came.

"I-is it still coming?" He whispered. I glanced up amongst the trees, squinting, and jumped to my feet.

"Everybody MOVE!"

The Plant Brain descended over us, snatching up Garnet in its wake as Vivi and I leapt back. I swore again, louder this time.

And as if things couldn't get any worse, along came Sir Rustalot the First and Hopefully Last.

"Stand back! I will deal with this!" The captain of the Pluto Knights roared, similarly rusty sword at the ready to strike.

"I doubt that." I muttered under my breath. Thankfully, no one seemed to hear.

There was a sharp crack behind me and I whirled around, breathing out what I didn't know I was holding. Zidane raised an eyebrow at me.

"Paranoid?"

"A bit."

"Sh-she's in trouble..." Vivi choked out, backing away. Zidane's gaze traveled to the Plant Brain.

"What the _hell _is that?!" He pushed past me to get a better look at the monster.

Meanwhile, Steiner still assumed that he was able to take charge of the situation.

"Release the princess at once!"

"Yeah, like it's really going to listen to you." Zidane shook his head and pulled out his swords. "Come on!"

And suddenly bright flashy lights. Zidane then promptly turned pink.

... And he looked even more like a humanoid monkey than usual.

"Wh-what is that light?!" Steiner seemed to have noticed the thief butting in to save the day.

"I don't know. Somehow, it raises my power." Zidane shrugged.

_He doesn't know what the hell it is._

_... Typical._

"Could it really be Trance?" The knight in rusty armor wondered aloud. "I've heard of it before! Trance is induced by a surge of emotion."

Zidane either pretended not to notice or just plain out didn't. "All right, let's take him!"

The battle really only lasted for two minutes. I didn't even get to see Zidane's Free Energy before the monster decided it was done with us and leapt off into the night.

And Steiner, naturally, went into hysterics.

"Princess? PRINCESS!"

"What the heck? Where'd they go?" Zidane groaned, turning in a circle and looking around the trees.

"Gone off somewhere in this forest." I shook my head, pushing up to my feet.

"She's gone..." Vivi repeated, staring at the ground. He wandered towards the way we came, stopped at the top of the hill and stared down. "I was too scared to cast any spells... That monster's probably gonna eat her..."

"How could I let this happen?!" Steiner wailed, collapsing on his knees. Zidane slowly turned around to look at me.

"Why didn't _you _do anything?"

I opened my mouth to protest that _do you see any weapons on me_, but all of a sudden, Steiner leapt back up.

"Theresa is a handmaiden of the princess and an innocent individual. I suggest you mind your tongue around the princess's right-hand woman, scoundrel!"

Zidane scowled, and I decided to meet this halfway. "Steiner, I can fight my own battles. Orally, at the present, but I don't need your help in defending myself from one comment." I drew in a breath. "I fairly admit that I followed into this blindly and never had time to secure a weapon for myself. I'm sorry if I should have known to."

This left the monkey-tailed thief speechless for a moment and one Tina Brookes very satisfied. He seemed to bite his lip for a moment, tail drooping, and turned to Vivi like that entire detour from dialogue never happened. "She's not dead yet. That monster was only a minion. He's probably gonna take her to his master."

This lifted Steiner's spirits, just slightly. "That means the princess might still be-come!" He drew his rusty blade again. "We must go find her at once!"

Vivi interrupted this display of bravery/stupidity as another Plant Brain swept down and trapped him within itself.

... That sounded wrong. Moving on.

"Let me go-! Help me!" Vivi cried out. I backed up against one of the trees.

"Sorry." I muttered as Zidane and Steiner took charge of the fight. Why _didn't _I think to grab some sort of weapon on the way to the rooftops? I might've been able to spare a second... anything would have worked! And here I was, completely useless and having to be defended by _Steiner_, of all people.

This picture did _not _work.

After a battle of epic proportions (which the authoress, who was still having a great deal of trouble trying to get off the floor, somehow still managed to skip), Vivi stumbled off of the monster's corpse. Zidane caught him, kneeling down.

"Th-thanks..." The Black Mage gasped for breath, still looking shaken.

I didn't blame him.

"Are you alright?" Zidane asked softly. He really was decent with kids, I realized.

"Yeah..." Vivi was cut off by the Plant Brain, its work not yet finished, unleashing an unearthly green gas that spread through the air and knocked Vivi and Steiner out.

And yours truly, because I unfortunately happened to be leaning against a tree that was right behind where Steiner was standing.

I collapsed, sliding back down against the tree and all of the air leaving my lungs. My vision was already clouding over, and it was pretty much too late.

_Seeded._

Oh, this is going to be fun.

And then, for lack of something more dramatic, I blacked out.

**0-0-0**

I woke up curled up on one of the Prima Vista beds, in the same room as Vivi. That was the first thing I noticed.

The second was that I felt feverish, sick, and like there were small pulses all over my body.

/Seeds/.

I swore inwardly and laid there, unable to move and breathing itself being a pain. I wasn't sure, but I thought I heard Blank and Zidane's voices drawing near the door. Vivi stirred.

"What happened?" He squeaked out just as the door opened. I didn't bother to answer, closing my eyes.

Breathe in, breathe out. Pretend to sleep and you will sleep. It was a tactic that generally seemed to work...

Two pairs of footsteps crossed the room, and the floorboards, which had already been damaged enough, creaked.

"You guys are lucky." Blank pointed out. I kept my eyes firmly shut, still trying to take deep breaths. I could feel a seed in the back of my throat quivering as I did.

That... was admittedly terrifying.

"If it weren't for Zidane, all three of you would've been dead." There was a sound like he was taking the cork out of a potion bottle. "Some of the monsters in this forest reproduce by planting seeds in other animals. And when the seeds sprout, it's /hasta la vista/-you become beef jerky."

Vivi's voice trembled. "Um... am I going to die?"

"Nah, you'll be fine." Blank answered casually. I heard Zidane snort behind him. "Here, drink this. It'll remove all of the seeds from your body."

I heard Vivi attempting to choke it down and realized that would probably be me as soon as everyone was aware I was awake.

Then again, that seed-and all of them-were still scaring the crap out of me.

As if on cue, I felt a gloved hand shaking my shoulder. "Hey, Valentine. Up and at 'em."

I glanced at him wearily. Zidane didn't look so much the worse for wear-he'd probably gotten an actual potion to heal any wounds he'd had after the fights.

On the other hand, I probably looked awful. I /felt/ awful, at any rate.

Blank tossed another potion vial at Zidane. "Give her the stuff, Zidane."

I held a hand up weakly and slowly pushed myself into a sitting position. "Get it over with." My voice came out raspy. The thief nodded and handed me the potion.

"I think you can down it yourself, if you can sit up."

I grimaced and downed the potion. It tasted half decent at first, sort of like a really slimy Jell-o.

And then it tasted like someone had mixed in as much cayenne as they had on hand. /Burning out the seeds. Not a bad plan./ My eyes still watered anyway as I forced myself to finish. Sure enough, I felt the seed lodged in the back of my throat suddenly just disappear. The discomfort remained, but somehow I just knew it was gone.

I handed the vial back to Zidane. "Thanks-thank you." I caught myself.

Apparently Vivi was having none of it, because he had apparently just passed out again from the potion. For me, it didn't sound like such a bad idea at this point. The blonde thief turned to Blank.

"Watch the kids for a minute, will you?" I grimaced at the 'kids' bit. "I need to go talk to the boss."

"Good luck." Blank shrugged as Zidane left, tossing the vial over his shoulder as he slammed the door. Blank might have rolled his eyes behind the headband that covered them and caught it.

"Idiot." He grumbled, then glanced up at me. "You should rest. The deseeder takes a while to completely take effect, and it goes faster if you're not conscious."

"What, is there sleeping weed in it to help?" That would explain why I felt groggy again. Blank smirked.

"Sharp for a princess's chatterbox maiden. Yeah, just enough for about half an hour. I'm surprised you didn't already pass out."

"I'm an insomniac. It takes work." I laid back down, the bed feeling welcoming. "Thank you...?"

"Blank." At least I'd remembered not to reveal I knew everyone's name.

"Thank you, Blank."

"Valentine, huh?" I could hear the smirk in his voice.

I opted not to answer that one, closing my eyes and giving up to sleep.

It had never felt so welcoming.

**0-0-0**

_Phew, there's a third chapter marked up. Making good progress, huh?_

Updates will be fairly slower from here on out, I'm afraid. I'm juggling two individual projects at once, schoolwork, and other daily demons that get in the way... not to mention the fact that I unfortunately do **not **have Final Fantasy IX memorized like the back of my hand.

That's what keeping the script open is for.

_In any case, I do take the time to thank those reading, and hallelujah, **reviewing**, (hint hint, I sort of do like those a bit too much for my own good) so..._

_..._

_... PLEASE CONTINUE TO SHOW YOUR SUPPORT BY CLICKING THAT BUTTON THAT SAYS REVIEW._

_Go on, it doesn't bite._

_It's actually very friendly._

_*smacked*_

_In any case, from this chapter onward we'll resume a more regular schedule of author's notes, but not in the format for the first part of the chapter. That was just me racking up wordcount and being an idiot, but they'll be in **this **format instead. Sound good? Good._

_See you all... next chapter._


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